Secrets, money, lies, and other thing that help us
by Anchorgurl1
Summary: Just a couple I ship and since no one's done a smut fiction for them! Also killing two birds with one stone I'd like to wish a Happy Birthday to Jeremy since this story was written for him anyway


**(A/N:) **

**If you ever, EVER see me post a DALEK smut fiction I have officially run out of ideas!**

**Happy Birthday Jeremy!**

**Yes I'm so cheap I'll I got my best friend was a poorly written smut fan fiction!**

**Okay I caved in and bought you something too….just read the damn story!**

**Co written with the help of Alec Geist**

**Nott Scott**

People seldom do anything but talk, and when you live on what's basically a whale shaped balloon you run out of things to talk about. From past experiences Newkirk has learned that when people (more specifically airmen) get board they_ love _to talk about one subject in particular: sex. So needless to say when you have someone such as Dylan Sharp aboard such a vessel all sorts of crazy theories transpire, however the boy in question certainly didn't fit into any of these crack pot theories but one has to wonder…

For instance Dylan _was _rather effeminate when it came to looks, they way he walked, and when he was angered his voice became so high that it could be confused with that of a woman's. And that's what many believed as well as several other insane theories. When you get board suspicions airmen with time and money to kill it meant that there were, of course, several bets about the ship all centered around the middy in question; everything from homosexual man, girl in disguise, both parts*, and even a runaway princess(thought Newkirk thought the latter rather improbable) were spread all around the ship. Mate to mate, co worker to co worker, and all without Mr. Dylan Sharp even noticing- hell even the Count was in on it!

With everyone's questions piling up many demanded that someone find out the truth and who else but, everyone's favorite lackey: Mr. Newkirk! Newkirk was never seen as an equal to the Darwinists for two reasons- 1. He was a middy, the lowest position on the ship and 2. He was a monkey Luddite.

"Ungodly Darwinists," he mumbled as he slipped into the empty locker in the just as barren washrooms. His job was to hide in the locker and try to get a good look of Sharp _all natural _before the lad (or lass) got into the shower, and if anyone were to join him(like say a certain Austrian prince) the bonus point! Newkirk hoped certainly hope Sharp would be alone not only for the fact of it being easier to escape without being noticed but he wasn't too fond of the thought of Alek touching Dylan…

"Cart!" he thought when he heard the shower on while someone hummed a familiar tune. It had to be Dylan; all the other men were to stay out of the showers tonight so Newkirk wouldn't be found out. Cursing himself for not paying attention he quickly and quietly slipped out of the locker and made his way to the shower. _If I can just peak in the shower then I'll be able to see once and for all _Newkirk thought as he slid the shower curtain open with shaky hands.

Once the fabricated curtain was pulled half open Newkirk froze at what he saw- a soapy wet Sharp. She must have heard the moan he made for she spun around eyes wide in terror. Eugene liked to think of himself as a gentleman but in this situation he was anything but…he noted as his eyes noticed the freckles the danced across her chest…that's it he couldn't take anymore- he finally lost all control and jumper her.

Lips and body shoved against Dylan's own he pushed her against the wall as he felt her kiss back. As she quickly took off his now soaking jacket her elegant and nimble fingers finished to unbuttoning his shirt before tossing out to the lockers (good thing he forgot an under shirt). He pushed her herder against the shower wall as she gave his pants a downward jerk sending them to the ground. Now he was just as exposed and wet as she was….well maybe she was a little bit more _wet _than himself_._

Using his bare knees to open her body until she finally wrapped her long spidery legs around his calves he began to enter her. As he did so he let a very high pitch moan out that echoed off the walls a sound Newkirk found he very much enjoyed. As he continued he hump the girl he began to wonder her real name..._not important at the moment _he decided and continued…

Outside the men were getting impatient they sent the lad in nearly an hour ago but, he'd yet to return! Looking around the room Rigby noticed some of the men were getting fidgety.

"Maybe Sharp caught him," Hobbes suggested "We all know how bad the kids temper can be at times…" as he trailed off another spoke up

"Aye maybe Sharp caught him but didn't hurt him…maybe the lad got a _reward _of sorts." A rigger, Charles, spoke up. The way he put emphases of the word "reward" made Rigby sick to his stomach- he had his money on Sharp being a lad(all be it one who prefers the company of men but, a lad none the less)

"Or a bribe instead of a reward…" Hobbes chimed in- Rigby was beginning to wish they were allowed to discuss what they placed their bets on.

"I wouldn't put it past her!" Count Volger spoke with venom in his voice

"How are you so sure Sharp's a lass?" Rigby asked

"I have my reasons…" that count was a bit too sneaky but for Rigby's liking but her let it slide- Newkirk should be back soon either way…

Taking his shoulders in a death grip was her signal to Newkirk that she had come. He soon pulled out and backed into the tile wall opposite of Deryn. They two sunk down to the floor of the shower stall- exhausted beyond all belief. The silence was only broken by heir panting and the sound of the animals all throughout the moving as one.

"So how was your fist Darwinist experience?" Deryn asked sweaty and all smiles

"I can defiantly say that it was a very memorial one." He hoped he didn't offend her but, he wasn't quite sure what this was. He hoped it wasn't…

"Well Eugene you may be a monkey Luddite but, you're Darwinist where it counts!" she winked before getting up and getting dressed. Shame…

*** I assume Darwinists would know about that kind of stuff…they even knew about it in the midevil era…granted they thought that if you had both part(or none) that you were a homosexual but, they knew about it all the same! **


End file.
